Measuring The Year

Today was wonderful.

I woke up feeling much better.

Shannon and I dyed my hurr again.

We got much needed girl talk.

David came over. <3

They convinced me to swim in my underwear. :x 

Which was actually quite fun.

I fell more in love.

Then David and I went and got cheapo chinese and tcby.

I don’t think I can even begin to describe how much I love the simple normalcy of that.

I went swimming with a close friend and the most wonderful guy today.

Then we went and got cheap dinner and frozen yogurt.

Gah just. I love him. 

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Today was absolutely, utterly perfect.

Just. Boyfriend scared the shit out of me by popping out of my closet when I didn’t even know he was in my house.

And then after I was ready, we went and rented Puss In Boots and bought chicken tender loin and macaroni and cheese with bacon.

And then we went to his house and. Erm. Took our frustrations out on each other, in a positive and satisfying way. XD

And then just cuddled and talked and were silly.

And then he made me lunch and we watched Puss In Boots.

And ate watermelon later.

And he makes me so incredibly happy.

I love that I can go to him and five minutes talking can take me from super tense and stressed to laughing and happy. I can vent to him about anything: drama, stress about work, stress about family or school, stress about not knowing what I want to do with my life.

And he gives the perfect combination of advice, “everything is going to be okay honey, don’t worry”, and distraction.

Everything with him just makes sense. We’re real with each other, tell each other how we feel and what’s bothering us, and just love each other.

We can go from being ridiculously cutesy sweet, to fucking the hell out of each other, to running around the house yelling silly things. Which is exactly what I need. Too much of one doesn’t work for me. 

I love that he’s the same around our friends as alone (to a degree at least). He doesn’t change just so he seems “cooler” around other friends. 

We make each other happy. We have so much fun together. I’ve never been in a relationship where I’ve had this much fun. 

I’m so content just napping, watching a movie, or watching him cook. 

I am so ridiculously heels over head for this boy. And I know he’s the same about me.

Who could ask for more than that?

Sometimes I start to think I’m pretty.

But it always comes back to the same sort of thing. 

I’m having a mega insecure night.

I. Am. So. Freaking. Content.

With my life.

I’m so happy.

Just. Today was great, tomorrow will be great, this month, this summer will be great.

I’m actually almost worried that I’m somehow gonna mess something up in there, cause I’ve just been so happy.

But I’m not going to worry about it. I’m letting go all of the stress and negativity I’ve been thinking recently, and just not worry at all.

What will be will be, and in the mean time, I’ve got some awesome stuff coming up with awesome people to share it with.

And an absolutely amazing guy to share it with. :)

Today I started to get upset

cause you aren’t hanging out with me tomorrow.

But I was being dumb. You did tell me earlier this week, and you did definitely make an effort to be with me Monday morning, and today for breakfast.

So I really can’t be mad.

And I realized that after I cooled down and I admitted it.

I’m so glad I did because we hung out in the student center for a while, and instead of feeling down because I wasn’t seeing you tomorrow, we had a good time and talked and laughed, and you stayed 40 minutes over what you were supposed to. XD If not an hour.

I’m so proud of myself. We had a good day, and I am happy.

Things that made today wonderful

• You pulled into the drive thru to get coffee for me even though you were in a hurry but you knew I reeeeeally wanted it. :3 And then was silly with the drive thru person when you found out that McDonald’s breakfast was over.
• You came over my house. Seems silly, but I love it when you pick me up Monday mornings, and it was nice. So was the sex… XD
• You cuddled with me lots.
• Even when your friends give you funny looks for cuddling with me you cuddle away.
• You told me that you were in love with the most beautifulest girl in the world, and she had the biggest heart out of anyone you knew.
• That last part was my favorite. 

Things I never want to forget:

• How it feels to rest on your shoulder, snuggled into your neck.
• Giggling with you. I don’t know how else to put it. Giggling with you is my favorite thing to do sometimes.

I like how late night calls are you half asleep and calling me a butt cause YOU have stuff to do and can’t hang out tomorrow. XD

And asking me why I’m with you cause I’m beautiful.

And calling each other a butt back and forth.

You’re the best. ♥

I realized how much and how good I’ve become at holding back my feelings.

Ben earlier was telling me I wasn’t big, or fat, anywhere near as much as I think I am. Or something. I was kind of zoned out thinking about it. And I told him I had shit in high school, and all he said was, we should go beat the shit out of them!

And I dunno, it just hit me, and I kind of cried a little bit, and then got over it.

It was weird. It was like, I broke down for literally a single minute, then kind of shook it off.

Ben’s a good bro. XD We have a good time.

I love…

I love the way you come up behind me and surprise me, I love the nicknames you give me (no matter how silly), I love when you surprise me with things you know I like (Spider-man plushy, coconut cake that you don’t even like, heart-shaped candy), I love your nose kisses, and forehead kisses, and cheek kisses, (and all kinds of kisses), I love how you stroke my hair when you think I’m asleep on your lap, I love how you’re overprotective of me, I love how you cuddle with me, I love how you reach for my hand, I love your random phone calls, and I love how you hug me from behind, I love that you think I’m beautiful and pretty and hot and cute and sexy all at once, I love how you love to cuddle, I love how you sing silly love songs and I love you. ♥